A growing public perception (and a correct one) that the health care crisis is rapidly getting out of hand is making it very difficult for the current crop of presidential candidates to ignore health care as a campaign issue. 

The candidates' websites

see for yourself what they have to say about health care

The Clintonians

Al Gore

Bill Bradley

The Gekkonians

George W. Bush

John McCain

Steve Forbes

Alan Keyes

Gary Bauer

Oren Hatch

Elizabeth Dole

Of course, whether they want to ignore it or not depends on whether they're Clintonians or Gekkonians. The Clintonians (Gore and Bradley) enthusiastically made health care a major issue in their intramural debates. They're happy to remind everyone that the Gekkonian health care system that we've had for the past several years is imploding, and so, if only by default, it's time for something new. And if it's time for something new, then it must be the Clintonians' turn again, mustn't it?

Meanwhile, the issue of health care just makes the Gekkonians (Bush) nervous.  After all, there's not much you can say about the miracles of free enterprise health care, when free enterprise health care is ostensibly what we've already got. In general, the Gekkonians mumble some phrases about getting more free enterprise into the health care system, but their ideas are vague and their enthusiasm for tackling the problem muffled, to say the least.

On this page we will follow the 2000 presidential campaign as the candidates address (or fail to address, as the case may be) the health care crisis. If you've read Section 2 and Section 3 of the Grand Unification Theory, you should already have a good appreciation of the fun we're about to have. For, given the first premise embraced by all the candidates, they're all entangled in an unsolvable dilemma. Their pronouncements on health care - plans for getting rid of that awful gorilla odor without mentioning the 900 pound ape swinging from the chandelier - promise months of amusement.

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